Chapter 17: I Promise

Jay drops me off in front of his auto shop, which is thankfully right next to the Rat & Raven. He tells me he’ll call as soon as Windy is all fixed up. I can’t thank him enough. It’s a miracle he was available to give me a tow at this hour. I can’t imagine what would have happened had I not turned around to head back to Robin’s Brook. I would have been stranded hours away, in the middle of nowhere.

“You gonna be okay?” He calls out to me after I hop out of his truck.

I can tell from here that the light in Addy’s apartment is on, but I text her one more time to make sure she’s there.

Addy: Hey!! Yes, I’m here! I left the door unlocked for you <3

I blush furiously at the sight of that heart. How a less-than sign and the number three can evoke such incredible emotion within me is just ludicrous.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine! Thank you again!” I call back to Jay.

“Tell Addy I said hi,” he says. I nod and wave as he drives off, then march on over to my new favorite place in the whole wide world and try the handle. Just as Addy promised, the door is unlocked.

The second I walk into the room, there’s an explosion of sound—whooping, cheering, whistling, hollering. The surprise is enough to make me stagger. The café is packed. Well, not packed to the brim, but 9 or so people occupy the space, which is more than usual. Addy rushes over to the door the moment I walk in and pulls me into a warm hug. Val stands behind the counter making a drink while Rey and her friends sit on the couches waving.

I’m utterly speechless. This is definitely the last thing I expected to see when I walked into the Rat & Raven. Addy keeps her hands on my shoulders as she pulls away, her lips curled into her usual smirk. “Welcome back, my little lamb,” she says, and I’m pretty sure my insides are liquid now.

“What—why—what’s—” I fail to say.

“Addy told us that you were leaving,” Rey says, hopping to her feet and approaching. “We were all really sad. But then she said you’d turned around, so we decided to throw you a little…umm…‘homecoming’ party?” Her cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink. “I know it’s silly, but we wanted you to feel welcome here.”

“It was Rey’s idea,” Addy whispers in my ear. “She’s so happy you’re back. And so am I, lamb.”

Quickly it dawns on me that Addy’s arms are still wrapped around my shoulders. I lean into her warmth, mentally exhausted. It’s been a long day. A really, really long day. But this is the best surprise I could have possibly returned to.

“Thank you all so much,” I say. “I…I don’t know what my plan for the future is, but I do know that I’m so happy to have met all of you.” This is all I’ve ever wanted, really. A family away from home. People who genuinely care about me and want me to stay. 

It helps that some of them are really easy on the eyes, too. I glance up at Addy, unable to help the grin that sprawls across my face. What a wonderful view. 

The next hour or so is some of the most fun I’ve had in ages. It starts off with Val pumping up the volume on her punk music. Rey and her friends jam out in the corner while Addy literally spins me around like we’re ballroom dancing. On my way home, my night was filled with worry, angst, doubt. Now it’s nothing but pure magic. Is it strange to feel afloat while somebody screams into a mic about tearing down the American justice system? Maybe. Not tonight.

At Rey’s request, Val switches to Sarah and the Safe Word, and we all sit in the couch-littered corner of the café while I recount the day’s events to Rey and her friends. We bond over a mutual hatred of my ex, a time-honored tradition among friends—friends I didn’t realize were already this close to my heart. I finally learn the names of some of Rey’s friends: Alex, the perpetually-beanie-wearing metalhead I met the other day; Joey, a soft-spoken emo kid who wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of a Dashboard Confessional album; and Amy, a redhead who barely stops talking long enough for me to tell my story. The rest of them are too busy practically moshing in a corner to participate. Watching them brings a smile to my face. 

When I’m finally done recounting my story, I turn to Amy and ask under my breath: “So what was this town meeting about? The one Addy was at?” I figure if anyone is likely to give me answers, it’s the chatterbox of the group.

Amy glances across the room at Addy and lowers her voice. “It’s…uhh…”

“Let me guess, it’s a long story?” Despite how happy I am in this moment, I can’t help but let a little frustration ooze through. Why is everyone always so cagey around me?

“It was a, uhhh…property dispute,” she finally says.

“Between Addy and somebody else?” I ask. Why else would Addy care enough to attend?

“Kinda,” she says. “It’s just the Gelspers being their usual shitty selves.”

“The Gelspers?” I say, a little too loud. Alex, Joey and Rey all snap their eyes to me, and I feel suddenly squeamish. “I mean, uhh…so what happened?”

“It went unresolved,” Amy explains. “Addy left the meeting as soon as you called, and we all followed.”

“You were all there too?” 

They all nod. None of them seem the type to attend a “town meeting,” but judging from their music, they certainly seem the type to crash it, or leave in the middle of one. 

“So what was the property they were fighting over? It wasn’t the Rat & Raven, was it?” It had to be. It was the only thing that made sense. Malcolm Gelsper clearly has it out for Addison, and she already seems to be struggling to pay rent. Guilt gnaws at my insides. Here Addy is fighting every day to keep her café, and I show up needing money? A job? How could Addy possibly afford that? Maybe I should have just left after all.

I file all of that away under “problems for future-Lum” and draw my attention back to the present. Not a soul has answered my question. Rey and her friends dart their eyes between one another and exchange looks that seem to scream, “you first.”

“Forget I mentioned anything,” I say, breaking the silence. “I’ll try to think of a way to help Addy save the Rat & Raven starting tomorrow.”

“You know…” Rey leans over and places a hand on my knee. “You’re always going on about how much Addy is doing for you. But I think you’re going to do a lot for her, too.”

“What do you mean?”

She smiles. “Addy does a lot for a lot of people. Not just running this place, but being there for people, for all of us. She doesn’t often get people who want to take care of her in return. And you’re always thinking about her. It’s…sweet. I can tell you’re going to be a good friend to her. It makes me really happy to see.”

“Yeah, just a good friend,” Alex teases with a grin. “Uh huh.” 

Rey slaps his shoulder. “Shut up! That’s none of our business.” Although the way she glances back at me to gauge my reaction tells me she thinks it’s a little bit her business. I can’t blame her. I’d want to know, too. Truth is, I have no idea what Addy and I are. We never did talk about what happened the other night when I heard her touching herself—if that’s even what really happened, or if it was just a figment of my imagination. And if it was the truth, then what was she thinking about? The whole situation is still a mystery to me. For all I know, she just considers me a friend.

Then again…would a friend go through all this trouble for me? 

I don’t know. My head is all scrambled. Seeing Hannah today…it really messed with me.

Rey must be able to tell there’s something wrong, because she quickly changes the subject. “So…you’re really sticking around, huh? What’s your plan?”

I shrug. “To be honest, I haven’t thought it through. I know I don’t want to burden Addy too much, so if that means I have to get my own place, that’s what I’ll do. But for now I think I’ll stay here a bit longer, until I can afford a place of my own.”

“Well, if and when the time comes, I’ll help you move,” she says. “We all will.”

Amy, Joey and Alex nod in agreement. “Yeah. Any friend of Addy’s is a friend to us. We got your back.”

Where did all of this come from anyway? I want to refuse, tell them not to worry about me, tell them I’m not worth the trouble, but uncharacteristically, I just smile and thank them. Even if it is all just out of some loyalty to Addison, I have to learn to accept help when I need it. That’s what this has all been about, anyway, right?

Speaking of Addy, I crane my head over my shoulder to check what she’s up to. She and Val are chatting behind the counter, occasionally stealing glances my way as they both brew drinks for some of the people sitting on the counter stools. Their discussion looks serious, so I decide not to interrupt them. I’ll have more than enough time to talk to Addy tonight, anyway. I hope.

I want to apologize to her. For everything. For Hannah, for leaving, for coming back. I know she’ll probably wave me off and tell me I have nothing to be sorry for, but it still feels like I do.

“Do you think she’ll come back again?” Joey asks.

My brain is a cloud of fog. “Who?”

“Your ex. Hannah.” 

“I…I doubt it.” Maybe it’s true what she said, that she wanted to try again, that she was worried about me. But she wasn’t sorry for what she did. She didn’t truly want me back. She just wanted to not be the bad guy, and this was her way out. “I don’t think I’ll see her ever again.”

“That feels like something we should drink to,” Rey says with a giggle. “C’mon, Lum. Drinks on!”

I glance over my shoulder again, and sure enough, Addy is pouring some Bailey’s into one of the drinks she’s making, and Val is pulling out several other bottles as well. I had no idea those were even back there—most of the work I’ve been doing is cleaning and washing dishes, so I haven’t really been shown the counter just yet.

Within seconds, a mug of Irish coffee is placed in front of me, and everyone’s lifted their drinks into the air. Addy clears her throat, and the conversation dies down to a murmur. 

“To our new friend,” she says. “Lum, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to get away from your old life. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did today.”

I blush and stare down at the ripples in my drink. Everyone raises their voice in agreement. 

“We’re so happy you’re here. And I promise…” she trails off, causing the room to turn immediately silent. “I promise to protect you for as long as you decide to stay.”

Protect me? My eyes snap up to Addy. Protect me from what? From Hannah, I guess?... And why is everyone else staring at Addy, too?

Something weird is going on. There’s that feeling in the air again, like a change in pressure. My ears hurt for a moment, and then it’s gone. Nobody else seems to notice, though. They just stare at Addison, waiting for a follow-up that never comes.

“Th–thank you,” I stammer, raising my mug. “And I…I may not have much to offer, but…” I think about the town meeting Addy was just a part of, all the sacrifices she’s made, the things she’s done for the people around me, and I can’t help it. I want to protect her, too. I want to make sure the Rat & Raven never goes under, never falls into the hands of anyone else.

From what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen, Addison is the type to mother everyone around her without getting anything in return. I want her to get the help, the love, the life she deserves.

“I promise to do the same for you,” I say. And there’s that feeling again, like static electricity crawling up my skin. The hair on my arms stand on end. It’s almost as if the world heard me. The world heard my vow, and now it’s real, it’s a physical thing and not just empty words.

I catch Addy’s expression for a split-second. Her eyes are wide with surprise, her lips contorted in an expression of…confusion? Concern? Whatever it is, the moment she realizes I’m looking at her, it’s gone. She plasters on a fake smile and raises her mug. “To Lum,” she says. “Lost little lamb no longer.”

Everyone raises their mugs and drinks. But I still feel a little lost. There’s so much I still don’t know about Addison, about this town, about all of this. I get the feeling it’ll be a while before I completely understand. But I want to. I want to understand.

“Now,” Addy says. “It’s time to plan for tomorrow’s bonfire. You guys ready?”

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Next Chapter!