Chapter 10: Better Be Good

Well, I can’t say I’ve ever been in this position before.

Not lying on a couch with a hand down my pajama pants, that's a position I've been in many times. But next door to someone doing the same, imagining every little thing she's up to…

Maybe Laetitia was right. Maybe I am a degenerate.

What’s she thinking about, I wonder? Maybe she has a boyfriend or girlfriend I don’t know about. Maybe she’s thinking about them. Or maybe—just maybe—

No, that’s crazy. She’s only met me 48 hours ago, and I’m a 5-foot-2 fuckup with no money, untamed hair, and a penchant for anxiety. Then again, I only met her about 48 hours ago, and I’ve been fantasizing about her the entire time. Of course, she’s gorgeous from top to bottom, and overflowing with love, too. Addison, with her shapely hips and her delightfully devilish smirk, could score just about anyone. 

Another soft moan from the next room over. Gods, to be in bed with her right now. I’d die happy. Well, there’s no way I’m getting any sleep while this is happening. I slide my fingers up my slit from bottom to top and shudder with pleasure. I’m dripping wet just thinking about Addy doing the same. Her hand between her thighs, another squeezing those perfect breasts. My mouth waters. I close my eyes and my mind wanders.

Addison, who stole my heart from the moment she walked into the room after I stumbled into her cafe. Who took me in, fed me, kept my car running, gave me a place to stay. Who accepted me for who I was immediately and without question. Who gave me a reason to stay instead of a reason to leave. Addison, my savior.

I draw circles around my clit with my finger and try not to whimper. It’s too early to have caught feelings, right? Far too early. And yet, I can’t help myself. She’s just too good to be true. Okay, no feelings then. No feelings. Just…desire. That I can accept.

I want Addison Grey. I want her so bad, so bad I can’t stop touching myself just thinking about her. Especially not while she’s letting out beautiful gasps and moans of pleasure in secret just around the corner. I slip a finger inside myself and stifle a moan of my own. It slides right in, one, then two, and any semblance of control I had is gone. I’m in another world. One in which those fingers don’t belong to me, they belong to Addy, and she’s on top of me, her fingers inside me, fucking me, her lips on my neck, tongue on my skin, gods, oh gods.

I curl my fingers upwards and let out a sharp gasp into my other hand. I know it’s a fantasy, but it’s a hell of a fantasy. In the next room, I hear more muffled sounds and her bed creaking slightly as she adjusts herself. I suddenly wish I knew what she was doing so I could mimic her. Maybe she’s using that toy I spotted in her dresser last night. Or maybe she’s doing exactly what I’m doing, her imagination drifting the same way as mine.

“Let me make you feel good, lamb,” I imagine her saying. She uses her thumb to rub against my clit, sending shivers of pleasure up my spine. Warmth spreads throughout my body. My face flushes. Thighs clench in anticipation. I feel her breath on my ear as she whispers to me. Her teeth on my ear. Her lips on my neck.

I imagine her touch is gentle, soft, caring, just like she is. She presses against my sex in a steady rhythm, building slowly in pressure as she kisses down to my collarbone. Her gasps are magic to my ears. Only, her fingers are mine. I’ve lost all control. Heat rises to my chest, my face. I have to bite my lip to stop my whimpering from turning loud.

I don’t care anymore. I need this release. I need this world I’ve created in my mind to be real, if only just for a moment. I spin onto my stomach, my knees digging into the couch cushions, and part my thighs just wide enough for my hand to be where it needs to be. I imagine her behind me, kissing down my back. Gods, please. Please, I need this so bad. My fingers move faster, more urgently now. Every inch of me is coiled tight like a spring. I can feel the pressure rising, rising, gods, yes, Addy, please…and just like that, I hear the softest of moans emanating from Addison’s room, and a shattering orgasm crashes into me like a wave. I shove my head into my pillow to muffle what would otherwise be a fairly obvious cry of unbridled pleasure. My knees wobble. My fingers are soaked through. I collapse, panting, sweating, an absolute mess, but a mess wearing an enormous grin. 

Shit. That was maybe a bit louder than I expected. I try to control my breathing so as to not arouse even more suspicion, but there’s very little self-control left in me. That was…wow. If that’s just my imagination, what could the real thing possibly feel like?

Nothing from the room next door. I press my ear against the wall and listen, but if she’s still going, she’s being awfully quiet. Was it all in my head? Was it just…wishful thinking? Doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done. I can only hope she didn’t hear me.

Only, a small deviant part of me wishes she did. Wishes she knew how I was feeling, wishes she knew how much I craved her company, wishes she knew how my heart went full supernova just imagining what sex might be like with her. If she knew—if she heard—how would she feel? Would she be turned on? Would she be put off?

I can’t bear to know the answer. I pull my pajama pants back up to my hips and Addy’s blanket up to my neck, my breath still heavy and my knees still shaking. Please, gods, if you’re listening, I don’t want her to hate me for this.

---

Was last night a dream?

If there’s any indication that Addy heard me last night, I can’t tell. Maybe she’s just really good at hiding it, but that doesn’t seem like her. Maybe she was asleep after all, and the sounds I heard were her sleep-talking and rolling around in her sleep. It was probably nothing all along. Just my overactive imagination. Wishful thinking. Of course she wasn’t…right?

She whips me up a wonderful breakfast wrap and sets me to work again, and I’m happy for the distraction. My mind is still a jumble. Last night felt so good and was so, so stupid. What if she’d kicked me out? I’d be back in Windy driving to the coast right now. Leaving Robin’s Brook behind. I don’t want to do that. There’s something about this town, something ineffable that makes me want to stay. Either that or the town itself wants me to stay. That’s an unsettling thought.

It’s about eleven when the first customer arrives—one of Rey’s friends, if I recall correctly, a tall, lanky teenager with a beanie and a Metallica hoodie. “Can, uhh…can I get a caramel macchiato?” he calls out. When there’s no response, I realize that for some reason, he’s talking to me. I motion to the counter where Val should be—Addy is off today—and lo and behold, they’re gone.

“Shit,” I mutter. “Um, sorry! I’ll go look for them. One sec.”

I drop the broom, rush behind the counter, and search for Val in the back. There’s the sound of hushed conversation coming from the kitchen, and I swear to gods I think I hear my name.

I’m not going to snoop. That would be wrong. I’m definitely not going to snoop. As much as I want to hear what they’re saying—as much as I need to know if they’re talking about me, if they’re talking about last night, it would be wrong to eavesdrop. Besides, there’s a customer out front who needs helping! It would be so wrong.

Godsdammit, I’m absolutely going to snoop. I step gingerly towards the kitchen door and stay just around the corner, barely able to hear their conversation over the music playing in the other room.

“...telling you, she has her claws in them somehow.” Addy’s voice. She sounds genuinely distressed. So she was hiding something this morning.

“How do you know?” Pretty sure that’s Val.

“The book she had. It was from the library where Laetitia works.” So they’re not talking about last night. Well, that’s a relief. But wait—why are they talking about Laetitia?

“So they got a book from the library. So what? They were in winter for, what, an hour or two?”

Winter? It’s October, what are they talking about? I’m so lost right now.

“Then another couple hours when they went to drop off the rent. Should have only been like fifteen minutes, right? Stars above, I’m so stupid. I should have just gone myself.” Okay, scratch that. Addy doesn’t just sound distressed, she sounds downright angry.

“By yourself? Hell nah. That’s exactly what Mal wants you to do. Send Rey next time, that girl will do just about anything you ask her to.”

“Absolutely not,” Addy says, her voice raising. “Rey’s under my protection. I’m not sending her into court. Same with the rest of the kindling.”

Protection? Court? Kindling?

Val groans. “Fine. We'll worry about that next time it's time to pay tribute. For now we'll just keep an eye on them. Make sure they're not heading back there anytime soon.”

Ex-cuse me? Tension builds in between my eyes. Make sure what?

Just then, life decides to fuck with me a bit, and the kid in the other room calls out: “Yo, you still there?” which causes both Val and Addy to run into the hallway. The hallway where I'm standing, very obviously eavesdropping on them.

They stare at me, and I stare at them. It's one of those moments where time stops for a hot second. Finally, as if on a delay, Addy winces. “Did you…”

I nod.

Val looks between us, gauges the air between us, and decides now seems like a good time to go help the kid at the counter. They slip by me with a quiet “sorry” and then it's just me and Addy.

“So,” I say. “Deciding who I can and can't spend time with, is that it?”

Her eyes—her beautiful hazel eyes, winged expertly with eyeliner—widen into orbs. “What? No, lamb, it's not—”

“It's not what? Exactly what it was?” I get that there's some kind of beef between Addy and Laetitia but the way she's acting, she's less my protector and more my gatekeeper. And sorry, but I'm not into that.

“I knew all of this was too good to be true,” I mutter.

“Lamb, it's not like that—” she starts.

“My name is Lum,” I say, finishing it. And just like that, the spell breaks. I turn to leave and she grabs my wrist. I could tell from her grip if I pulled away, she'd let me.

But she wants me to stay.

“Please. Lum. Let me explain.”

I sigh. This had better be good.

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